Well, after receiving yet another ridiculous response from FatCow I spoke with a tech who escalated me and passed me on to Jason who agreed my problems were ridiculous and promised to escalate and follow the progress of my call through the support process.
Of course, a few hours later I received the following response:
Thank you for contacting support.
I regret, if you want a version of Sugar CRM installed other than that available through Install Central, you will need to carry out the installation yourself. We can not assist with this process, and are very limited in the help we can provide with regard to any problems that result from such an installation outside of Install Central, or troubleshooting which may be required. You would need to contact the manufacturer or supplier of the software for help with their product. I am sorry for any inconvenience that this may cause.
Not only did he (see, I can tell it's a he) make any effort to try to determine whether I'm a man or a woman (I am a Man), he also decided that they don't support the application I'm trying to install. This is after I've been working with several people at FatCow for weeks on the problem.
Honestly, I love (or used to love) FatCow, but their support organization is abysmal. Normally I would recommend them, but they're proving to me (repeatedly) that they have no idea how to provide web-based support. When you call, they're awesome, but when you work with them through the web ticketing system - they're horrendous. Repeatedly horrendous.